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Sexuality... or lack thereof

I'm the 'A' in LGBTQIA+. I also feel comfortable identifying as the 'L', the 'B', and the 'P'. 

Asexuality has been the defining point of my sexuality struggles. Once I realised that I was primarily attracted to women, that coming out process was pretty easy and simple. On developing feelings for a male friend, realising that I was not the 100% lesbian label I'd chosen was a more difficult conundrum. 

But Asexuality was the real stumbling block, because it meant accepting a different life view than the one society assumed for me. Forward thinking people can get their heads around queer sexuality - in fact, queerness is often over-sexualised. The idea that you might not want to have sex with anybody is harder for them to get their heads around.

It also makes dating and the road to potential parenting more difficult. How to find your partner when those initial 'electric sparks' just don't exist? How to accept that having a life partner may not be your destiny at all? How to comprehend the idea of parenting on your own?

We live in a world where sex = babies. Casual sex, baby-making sex, partnered sex, single sex, protected and unprotected sex. 'It only takes one time' the sex-ed literature warns. 'Accidents happen,' people have smugly warned me. 

Nope. No sex, no baby. And while this is a silver lining sometimes, it makes things trickier when you actually want one. 

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